such was my heart

Vulnerable, was my heart

when you so knocked on my door.

I'm not ready said my head,

but my heart let you in.

Into my home, into my skin.

Detached and in shambles,

you promised a brighter future..

a new home together.

In love again and the hatred washed away.

In love was my heart,

In life I was happy.

But it didn't take long

for you to break it all down.

Burned to the ground.

Destroyed was my heart.

And it took me some time

to build my home back up.

An ongoing struggle,

a full time agony.

And now I've grown strong,

but I won't be for long.

Weak was my heart

and I gave into the dust.

To feel something other than pain.

When all I need is to trust..

In myself-

not you or the others.

for I will never be vulnerable again.

Hatred overbears any sort of love.

Makes me strong for a short while..

But my fate knows I'm fucked.

Caving in yet again

what else can I do

when I say it's the last time,

I know that's not true.

I can lie to myself but never to you.

Empty was my heart,

high was my mind.

Trying to forget a love so unkind.

A temporary fix,

a beautiful sky.

They said it'd be quick

but I think I might cry.

Time and time again

I float in, I sink down.

Down to the bottom

of my deepest despair.

And you say that you care

but you can't help me up.

When all I need is a hand

and a little of your love.

To just get me through

another day of disgust.

To the world I was distant.

To my family, cold.

And myself, I was sold

on the good life, 

or so I was told.

Numb was my heart,

blank was my mind.

Where did it start?

What did I find?

It tore my life apart.

Though it never really was together.

But I was getting along,

I was humming my song.

And it didn't take long

for you to break it all down.

Burned to the ground.

And now all that surrounds me is hate.