I desire a blank page,
a clean slate,
a pure heart,
with you erased.

I wish you could blow away
like the leaves in the Fall.
Fall to the ground
and be stepped upon
by each passerby.
And decompose into the earth,
never to return.
Freeze in the Winter.
So cold just like your heart.

But the inevitable cycle continues.
You surface to the top
by Springtime's rain, and Summer's sun.

And there you are again.
This constant struggle to rid you from my brain,
circles back as the seasons change.

Life has a funny way of showing that everything's going to be okay.

I need ten thousand cigarettes
and ten thousand glasses of wine
and ten thousand opiates
and ten thousand knives
to maybe get you off my mind.

"It scares me to death"
that you're still in my head.

How many more days of this,
because I can't take one more minute.
Get the fuck out.

Inside, you reside.

Somewhere inside my body,
lies that sunken, upset feeling.
Almost like a habitat in which you are dwelling.

No you do not give me those butterflies
nor that loving satisfaction.

Your presence has come to ache;
comes from the inside out,
and leaves me with physical pain.

Your exact location is still unknown,
but I seem to have a lead.

I feel it most strongly inside my heart;
where I said you'll always be.


And some days you venture
into the depths of my stomach,
making me ill.

Scratching at my insides
with your sharp blade-like fingernails.
Shouting at the top of your lungs,
"LOVE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!"
that travels to my head.

Apple-throat.
You snip my vocal chords.
Words fail me now.
And silence becomes me.

You will never understand my suffering.
Though you are the sole provider.

Unknowingly hurting me every day.
When all I want is for you to vacate.
Tomorrow?